伊恒文章系列六
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">一些高考前后的随地随笔<span lang="EN-US">
<p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">：<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">对于自己的现在我真的很想说些什么；但终于还是没有勇气赤裸地说出来。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我知道自己的舞台只有一个，自己的路只有一条；我只能局限于一个事实！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我已经高三了，虽然还有一两个月就要高考；但在这所破学校我早已不再像个学生，而似乎更像个匆匆过客。我去教室不再是单纯地学知识，而是给父母一个学期拿出的银子做个交代</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我不想自己晚上恶梦缠身，因此而精神失常。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一天我虽然只上一个小时或者干脆不去，但一样要每个月从父母的血汗中拿出一笔钱作为自己挥霍的生活费</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我每个月的生活费相对而言不多也不少；</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">300--400</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">块；对于这笔钱怎么花我心里确实没个底。只知道这些钱除了还前一个月欠下的债，只可以维持一两天的吃</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">喝</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">玩</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">乐及朋友间的一些应酬；余下来的日子我又得借债和欠债。如此的循环让我一直处于负债累累的境地</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这样也好</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">反而应验了一句话：“自古文人多清贫”。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因为我是“文人”，因为我的生活相对清贫；所以兄弟们大多比较照顾我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">：<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">虽然我经常不去上课，但逃课的我面对生活一样无聊；有时候甚至莫名地思考着关于死的话题，想到死亡可以超脱一切。但每每心态平静的自己也会想；如此草率地结束自己的生命似乎有负于这个五彩缤纷的世界。于是我开始像个疯子一样热爱这个世界</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">热爱生活</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">记得有位外国哲学家萨特提出存在主义核心是存在先于本质，自由选择和世界是荒谬的，</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">人生是痛苦的。这也就是说人的存在在先，本质在后；到这个荒谬的世界来虽然痛苦万分但并非等死，而是通过自由选择寻找生存的乐趣和意义。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我佩服这位当代存在主义哲学集大成者的外国人；他短短的一段所谓的：存在主义核心为我们其中很大一部分人指明了做人的方向。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">凭心而论，我并不太喜欢看西方文学作品；用我一位授业恩师的话来说：东西方作品存在着极大的差异；东方人的作品除了累赘的感情就是一条链条式的故事串联，有时为了超脱数字的界限竟然将两个豪不相干的故事强加串联；让人误以为凡是艺术都是思想精髓</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当然这种作品有一个很明显的特点，通俗易懂。而西方人的作品除了拥有一大堆哲理</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">主义外还有许许多多的隐含意和内在含义。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我完全赞同这位老师的看法，于是我只爱中国文学。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">曾试着读过一些外国作品，其中一本不到</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">200</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">页的书我用了近一个星期；而同样规模的一本中国作品我只要一天</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">甚至更少的时间。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">怪不得作家余华会在访美归来感到遗憾</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">--</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">人家用写</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">本书的时间写一本书，我们却用写一本书的时间写</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">本书。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">其实我写这些东东并不是为了在读者面前炫耀什么</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">如果是那样的话，我就不会去评价文字，我只会说作家是流氓</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而文字就是那些作家的排泄物</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我只是想表明自己热爱文字</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">：<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">总喜欢把自己的人生比作是一个地狱，而自己只是一个从遥远的天堂降临于此的流星。我的职责在于传播光明，虽然我曾经极度地怀念自己在天堂的快乐日子，讨厌地狱中的苦难；但我始终保持着一颗圣洁的心</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">--</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因为我始终铭记自己是一颗星，一颗会发光的星！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">高中的生活现在基本上已经形成了一个圈，一个像孙悟空头上紧箍咒一般的圈；老师一天天的念，圈就一天天的紧。直到高考完</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">随着“轰”的一声，</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有人因此爆出了美好的前程，也有人因此爆毁了人生的一些前程。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当然能够熬完高考完那“轰”的一声对自己的寒窗十几载也算有了个交代，而有些人却连高考考场都没有勇气进；我就是其中一个。就现在的我而言</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">最多只够个初中毕业的水平；至于我是怎么堂而煌之地混进了高中</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">怎么能够成为老师眼中的人物我不想说的太明</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">总认为这并不单单只是自己的悲哀，而是自己生活的真实！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">：<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有人说高三频繁的月考和模拟考试的生活像个炼狱，但我却不觉得；至少不完全认同，原因有很多种，总的来说有这些：</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">：我是个天才</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">本来我并不想将这个理由排在第一位；但一时间又找出比这更合适的。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">：我是一个自由的人，老班不是在我不去学校可能影响他</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">N</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元工资的情况下是不会轻易找我回教室；他理解</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">了解我的性格，他知道其实我不上课或许比上课学的东西更多。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>3</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">：我有怪癖，换句话来说我很有个性；能被身边的同学所接受的同时而又不被他们同化。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>4</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">：我是一个矛盾中统一的人，我不擅交际</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">所以沉默；但我的沉默又似乎是一种交际。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">诸如这些关于自己的性格资料是我利用一种良好的人际关系搜集过来的；不知道这其中有没有人听明白。我的意思大概是说这些东西并不是我对自己的概括</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而是我的同学</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">朋友</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老师们对我的评价。当然像我这样的角色；众人的评价远还不止这些。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">很小的时候</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">--</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当我才明白事理的那一刻开始，总是这样想：人只不过是一条长线，而将发生在自己身上和身边的故事串联起来就是一个完整的人生。所以每个人都去拼命</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">都去充实自己的那条线</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因为那样既可以赢得功勋又可以流传千古。而现在我才终于明白人的概念；很简单</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也很复杂，很伟大</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也很渺小，总之很矛盾</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">于是现在我又在想，人本身就是一个艺术家；几乎每个人活着都得留下至少一部属于自己的作品。这部作品是你对世界整体的看法，你可以任意选择自己所充当的角色去演好自己的作品。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不管你在这个世界扮演的是一个什么角色：小偷</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">嫖客</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">妓女</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">乞丐</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">流氓；在自己的作品中你永远是主角</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">总的来说，我所宣扬的只是一种事实；所信奉的有唯心主义也有唯物主义</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我喜欢把任何矛盾</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">复杂的事物想象成一架天平；我们可以在这其中找到生活的平衡和支点。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我们所要追寻的只有自由，绝对的自由；让我们的感觉</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">意识去支配行为！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">：<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在我生活的这个环境中，糜烂的生活方式已经占据了大多数人的躯体；面对一种烦闷</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">无聊</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">空虚的人生境地，我们都一样无法自拔。最后在这个世界上只是留下了一些为数不多的智者和智障。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">只有这两种人才可以坦然地面对生活</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而我们？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我真的很不想重复类似：“我们都是垃圾”的句子；但是我又必须强调一点：在这个到处充满垃圾的世界中我们是垃圾并不悲哀</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">---</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">至少我们还不至于沦落到人渣！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不认识我的人会认为我普通的同时很平庸，认识我的人会误认为我有才华</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有个性</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">魄力，而真正完完全全了解我的人才知道我其实只是一个善于伪装自己的角色。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在这个世界真正完全了解我的人并不多；用一位朋友</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">--</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">介于认识和了解我的那种，的话来说：你应该与人交流，不应该封闭自己；你应该多多见识，认识一些人和事；而不应该只知道闭门造车。你应该在苦闷</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">孤寂时寻找自己的爱情，而不应该只是在心中把心爱的人塑造成一个圣女让自己去膜拜</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~`~~``~</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。在这位朋友看来艺术家都是风流的；而我又似乎算颗艺术家的种子。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">说真的，本来我是很单纯的，在我的观点里并没有争强好胜，没有追求名利</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">利益的心态。但世俗尘埃的沾污和对世界美好的不断认识让我有了野心</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有了征服的欲望。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我知道自己很虚伪，所以总是努力地去裸露自己；将一个真实的自己展现在别人面前。于是我的内心已不再有秘密</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不再有神圣</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">，只留下龌龊的躯壳。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">开始在害怕</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">害怕这就是自己追求梦想完结的先兆。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2005</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">4</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman";">月</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">18</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 华文行楷;">伊柯于进贤<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span></p>
